


The Replacement

by Nyghthawk28



Series: Stark Misadventures [2]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Drunken Inventing, Gen, Humor, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 15:21:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14936832
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nyghthawk28/pseuds/Nyghthawk28
Summary: Rhodey has some questions and things get interesting and funny.





	The Replacement

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer- I own nothing... It makes me very sad. The story is my idea but the characters are not and neither is the whole Marvel Universe. Once again sad...

"So why did Pepper quit?" asked Rhodey.

"She didn't like my new PA."

"Seriously?"

"Seriously."

"Who the hell is your new PA? Hammer's twin sister? Hitler's reincarnation? Pepper's skanky once removed cousin?"

"First off ewe... Now I've got the picture of Hammer in drag in my mind but with fangirl tendencies and three times as annoying."

"Oh that is a nasty fugly dark place your mind has taken you to."

"You started it Gumdrop."

"Well stop it. Continue."

"As for Hitler's second life... Probably not and anyway isn't reincarnation about a fresh start and a new life?"

"Whatever Hippie."

"Better Hippie than a Yuppie."

"So true."

"..."

"Well..."

"No I haven't seen Heather since that one time. As far as I know she's still in jail for that thing- Or was she the one in the cult? I honestly can't remember I was so shit faced I'm surprised I remember meeting her at all."

"Well that is one thing not to miss about Pepper. One side of her family is Yuppies and the other is the Trash of White Trash and/or Batshit Crazy."

"I thought we were never again going to talk about-"

"Don't say it!"

"Fine I won't. Even the heavy drug habit I had at the time can't erase those memories." Tony says with a shudder.

"God I wish it could." said Rhodey with his own shudder.

"Moving on!"

"Yes let's!"

"Okay my new PA is Carmen."

"Carmen?"

Nod.

"Not the Carmen I'm thinking of?"

"I'm not a Mindreader Honey Bear but probably unless you know a lot of Carmen's?"

"You made Carmen the Killer Fem-bot your new PA."

"Yep."

"The Killer Fem-bot with machine gun boobs and the meat grinder pussy is your new PA?"

A naughty little smile was quirking Tony's lips.

"The Killer Fem-bot who just happens to look like a sexier Pepper."

The smile got bigger.

"Pepper has no idea that Carmen is a Killer Fem-bot does she?"

The smile was pure evil now and he gave a slow shake of his head.

"I'm not sure if I should appluade your giant brass balls or call nice men with the hug me jackets."

"Hey my balls are nothing less than solid gold or better. As for hug me jackets you know those don't work on me."

"True that was a fun night. Is that one Magician still trying to kill you via playing cards and suicide doves?"

"No the Masked Magician revealed his best trick so he changed focus. I actually didn't mind him so much but his birds had a tendency to shit on my cars. Plus that one time when he was drunk and probably stoned off his ass totally made up for all the trouble."

"You mean the time he forgot to wear pants and ping pong balls kept falling out of his boxers?"

"No but that was funny as hell. No the time he sneezed so hard he concussed himself and then a rabbit came out of his ass."

"hehehehehehehehe-"

"HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Just the memories had them laughing their asses off.

Truly laughter is a Great Medicine.

**Author's Note:**

> Author's Notes- Decided to continue this story because it is just pure FUN!!! Thank you for all Comments and Kudos they fuel me to slowly but surely to try for more. ^_^


End file.
